Is Au Pairing For You?

So the first question is: do you actually want to be an au pair? The reality is, the majority of us didn't. Spending 25-30 hours a week running around after children isn't exactly the glamorous Parisian life you had envisaged. That being said, everyone who has been an au pair has found it to be a rewarding experience in at least some ways.

The absolute first step is to refer to this amazing post by Left Bank Manc. I read it before I arrived, over half of my friends read it before they arrived, it's the most useful post you could read on the subject. Ignore its advice at your own peril. In terms of pre-arrival reading material, stick to genuine au pair testimonials. Amazon might try to make you think you need a 200 page book on becoming an au pair, but the authors have sales targets and editors to keep happy, while current and former au pairs are chatting/blogging away for the collective good (and are a lot more truthful anyway!).

There are the obvious benefits: a cheap and easy way to live in Paris (and pretty much the only way open to an 18 year old girl with no second language, degree or work experience), learning a new language, and having a host family around as a safety net (provided they're not psychos) when you're living alone and abroad for the first time.

But the truth is, there are many more benefits to this unglamorous position. Aside from the day-to-day factors, au pairing is a genuinely character-building experience. I know it sounds vom-inducing but hear me out. For me, the biggest change has been my increase in confidence. When you're at home, living with your parents and worrying about your exam grades, it's easy to put yourself down. But when you're in a strange country on your own, trying to learn a new language and working hard, you can see your own achievements and feel proud of yourself for going it alone. Bonus points if you're working a rubbish job. This was my reality, and I found that being able to see (and resent) the way I was being undervalued and underappreciated forced me to realise what my own contribution and worth were. Boom. Instant confidence.

Negotiation is another key skill that you learn. When you're working for someone, you can't just throw a strop when things aren't going your way (or even if your boss is a complete idiot). You have to be diplomatic in your approach to problem solving, or you'll find yourself out on the street. With the newfound confidence mentioned above, you'll want to get the best deal you possibly can for yourself, and how do you do it? Negotiation. 

The third benefit is your increase in patience. Surprisingly, spending 30 hours a week looking after foreign children, communicating in a different language, dealing with frustrating situations from your host family or with paperwork, and being away from home, is not easy! The number of times you have to just hold your nerve, count to ten, and tell yourself it will all be okay, is staggering. And you will find yourself a better, more mature person for dealing with all of it. In the future I won't resort to ugly crying or storming off when I'm stressed - I'll just take a deep breath, eat a macaron and remember a time when it was so much worse. I'm kidding, but you will become less stressy.

So are you cut out for being an au pair?  The answer is, probably, yes. The only people I would warn off au pairing are self-centred people who want to stay that way. You can't be a selfish au pair. Most of your time is devoted to looking after other people, and if you just want to focus on yourself, find a different job.

You might not have much experience with kids, cooking, or cleaning, but the fact is, au pairing is not going to be 'The Sound of Music', and your host family won't be expecting Julie Andrews. You learn on the job, plain and simple, and within two weeks you'll know almost everything you need to. And even if you don't like children, and the children you watch are little nightmares, you will be surprised at how much you end up liking, or at least tolerating, them. And just how restorative a collective bitching session with other au pairs over a bottle of one-euro wine can be. Basically, you will cope, and the possibilities of being in Paris for a year are endless.